Who should avoid homesteading?

While I and others express the importance of homesteading in an unstable world, there is just the very real reality that some individuals should absolutely NOT move into the rural community. I’m not going to go into some long and drawn-out explanation because I don’t want to give individuals an opportunity to lie to themselves about how despite ticking off a few boxes on this list, the rural lifestyle will be easy for them. Let’s just get into it!

• Those who are unable to keep up with the demand that a large piece of property requires. The more room you have, the more work is involved. The more projects you take on, the more physically and mentally exhausted you will be.
• Anyone with severe medical conditions that require a fast response from local paramedics. If you suffer from Narcolepsy, then the last place you need to be is behind the wheel of a tractor. If you suffer from seizures, the last thing you need in your hand is a chainsaw.
• If you are very private about your personal life. Welcome to rural bumpkinville where now everyone will know your business! Enjoy your stay! If your kid is addicted to drugs, the whole community will know. If your husband cheats on you, the whole community will know. It’s the nature of the beast.
• If you are extroverted and can’t fathom having no daily interactions with your neighbors or friends right next door. Either social media will become your buddy or you’ll get out and involve yourself in as many extracurricular activities as you can just to get some human interaction.
• If you are a single female and plan to stay that way. I live in a very small town and it’s something like four men to every one female. If you’re looking for a beau, by all means feel free to move to town but know that the fish will be biting.
• If you live in a highly urban or suburban environment where you don’t currently own a vehicle but what you do have is a bicycle and a public transportation pass. In the boonies, you’re going to need a truck, some emergency supplies and a chainsaw just to survive. The public buses don’t venture onto the back roads of our community sweetheart.
• Ah! Bugs! There’s so many freaking creeping, crawling, stinging, biting and just disgusting critters. If tiny cockroaches in your apartment freak you out, just wait until you get introduced to the ginormous flying palmetto bugs here in the rural community. On the upside, you will be introduced to new vocal notes that you can hit as you scream and violently swat at your new roommates.
• If you have a career that requires you to physically drive into a location every day. The average commute to the city can be anywhere from 30 minutes upwards to 2 hours. It will put a lot of miles and damage on your vehicle, and your gas budget will increase exponentially.
• And speaking of your gas budget, all of the grocery stores and big box stores are located in the larger suburban areas so if you need to go to the store it’s going to really hit your budget. No matter how big your property is, it’s rare for a family to be able to grow all of their entire food in their first year or so on the homestead.
• Many roads in rural communities are unpaved, and dust will get everywhere! You can buy all the air filters you want but if you have asthma or hay fever, it can be more difficult to live here. In central Florida, during the summertime we specifically see periods of drought (oh my gosh the dust!) and intense rain which will send your sinuses into overdrive.
• If you can’t live without Target, Starbucks or Chic-Fil-A. Your restaurant choices are Memaw Boudreaux’s Chicken & Waffles, the sketchy hot dog cart that pops up throughout the community, or gas station prepackaged grub. The closer you get to the main street areas of a town, the more likely you are to recognize the fast-food joints but most places in rural areas are mom and pop locations. Oh, but you will have Dollar General’s and Family Dollar stores as far as the eye will see. If’n your lucky, you might have a Walmart within a thirty-minute drive from your home.
• Rural communities are lower on the rung, so don’t expect to have your lights or cable get repaired before folks in the big city. When natural disasters strike, the larger population gets first dibs on getting the basic structures of life back up and running. If you can’t survive without electricity for a few days, you don’t want to be out here.
• Do you know what screech owl is? Have you ever heard one? Watch Joe Pesci’s reaction to one in My Cousin Vinny and ponder if you can handle that type of shrill noise in the middle of the night. If you aren’t fond of running around your property in the middle of the night half naked while attempting to determine what vile creature is bestowing you with their wonderful nature sounds, this isn’t the area for you. Wild animals make all sorts of sounds, and they all aren’t all wonderful little tweets.
• No one is in a hurry! Not the grocery store cashier, the fast-food waitress or someone backing out a parking spot! They are all very happy to take their time and move at a snail’s pace. If you are used to the hustle and bustle of the big city, you will be in for a big surprise here.
• There is a smaller pool of medical, dental and vision professionals to choose from. You might have a chiropractor, a yoga instructor and acupuncturist in the big city, but not here in the country. In fact, if you start talking about yoga or an acupuncturist, your listener may just get a glazed look in their eyes as you speak.
• Internet outage is a common event and that’s if you are even lucky to get a cable company that services your area. If you live on the computer, then you might be transported back into the realm of 1990’s dial up speeds because it’s SLOW out here at times.
• If you are an under thirty something and want to find others like you, then you should definitely stay in the bigger city areas. The rural community tends to have a higher population of those over the age of forty, and they moved out of the city for peace and quiet. They didn’t move out into the boonies to listen to your children and their ear busting screams of delight. While there are clearly older individuals who don’t mind the presence of children, they will suffer no foolish children trespassing on their property or causing a ruckus.
• If you are not a blue-collar worker, then you most likely won’t enjoy living in the rural areas of the country. The key word out here is “survival” and your Women’s Gender Study degree, or fashion designer career will net you nothing out here. If you can work online as a side hustle while you make money off your homestead, that’s a great idea. However, your unique skillset will be of no use to those who are living that hard knock country life. If you still wish to pursue moving to the boonies, then you will have to market yourself like never before.
• If it offends you that your neighbors put up a big privacy fence and don’t acknowledge your existence, you might not be cut out for the boonies. I can’t express enough the desire for people to accept that this life is one that many seek out for peace and quiet. Unless you have just royally pissed off the neighbors, chances are good that that fence went up to keep out the four and two legged predators in the community.
• If your parents will be living within a short drive from where you are, you might want to stay where you are. There are many individuals who actually move to the rural communities so they can be closer to their family members, but if you don’t want your in-laws dropping by unannounced on a daily basis, then you shouldn’t move. Whether it’s because they are bored or they now have better access to you, they will come a visitin’ with all manner of their friends in tow.
• Until the people in your community get to a place where they recognize your face and name, prepare to whip your license out at the grocery store or gas station for certain purchases. They don’t know you from Adam and will insist on the assurance that they check all the boxes required by law. It doesn’t matter if you have gray hair or not Bertha, that ID better be ready at the counter when your purchase gets rung up.
• You got one preschool, one middle school and one high school. If your kid has got a bully in one, he/she will be moving up in the grades just as your children will. Don’t like a teacher? Well, guess what? Tough. You have a limited pool in your area, and you get what you get.
• Your parents have willingly decided to babysit your little crotch monsters and you’re planning a big night out at the club. Surprise! There’s only the club of one. That’s you, you’re the one. Get you a disco ball and mount it on your front porch while you listen to music on your iPod, because that’s your new night out. Almost every store will close once it’s gets dark or at the very latest you might see the Dollar General open til 9PM. Feel free to jump in your vehicle and go grab you a RC Cola and a moon pie at the gas station down the road while you pump out music on one of the very few channels your radio picks up.
• If you have no husband or children to help you run the daily tasks of the homesteading life, you might want to reconsider moving to the country. I know all those lovely women’s lib people have convinced you that you can do everything under the sun, but I’m here to tell you that males make the workload light, and you will need them in your life. One of the harshest realities I have learned to accept is that I just don’t have the upper body strength that my boys and husband have, which is why they are so important to have around. I assure you; my dainty daughter has zero interest in even attempting to lift loads of cinder blocks to build a project, but my sons happily will get it done.

While I attempt to inject a certain level of humor into this list, the reality is that some folks are just not capable of cutting it in an environment that requires a fair amount of physically laborious work. I don’t know where I would be without the support of my husband and my hard-working children, but I know it would be a hard life.

There are numerous articles throughout my blog that will help give you ideas on just what you can work with if you have to stay within a suburban location. Just flip back through the articles on my blog or feel free to contact me to work with you personally.